the very best, pt. xxvi
Welcome back, adored readers, to The Very Best, our ongoing series documenting how cool and skilled all of the NPC trainers are in Pokemon X. We are drawing near the end, so let's begin!
Why Do They Call It Victory Road When Everyone I Meet Here Loses
I have long maintained that Gen 6 is Pokemon at its finest, and I stand by that; the GTS is clean and elegant, I love the character art, the overworld chibi models are charming, the fashion game in XY is very strong, the Kalos regional dex is huge and gives you enormous freedom in teambuilding, and we have ORAS, with its dexnav and its revamped movesets. But it must be said that some design elements have suffered, and Victory Road is a fine example of that. It is much more of a gauntlet than a dungeon1; I remember getting lost in the ORAS Victory Road, but it's hard to imagine that happening here. It's pretty straightforward; there are some optional side paths but it's usually pretty clear where the critical path is.
Anyway. Victory Road awaits. I have stocked up on revives and full restores and max repels; it's time to prove that we are the very best.2
Before we begin, an important administrative note. Ace Trainer Alanza's Weavile knows Ice Punch, a move which Weavile can only learn through breeding in gen 6; this was before it had access to any physical Ice-type moves at all outside of breeding. It was a serious weakness of what is otherwise a very cool3 Pokemon. Now, this suggests that Victory Road trainers have custom movesets4, which is very fun; unfortunately, normal Trainer movesets are poorly documented; some of them show up in a guide for the XY speedrun, but only for trainers who are relevant to the route; speedrunners as a rule try to avoid fights as much as possible. Now, had we but world enough and time I would simply have spent the time to scout out everyone's movesets and documented them, but time is short and I'm trying to finish Silksong before Legends ZA comes out; I did make some notes when I saw unusual moves, and I will make use of the information I have available to me but ultimately this means I will take specific movesets into account if I know about them: if it's a bad moveset I will note that, and if it's a good moveset I will note that. But I will not always be able to take their full moveset into account.
Victory Road: Ice Trainer Alanza
Alanza has a level 60 Weavile. She is unskippable, so we have her full moveset: Night Slash, Quick Attack, Ice Punch, and Low Kick. This is a very good moveset, taking full advantage of the high speed and Attack of Weavile (with Quick Attack to pick up a weakened but not quite KO'd opponent if it is very defensive); Low Kick in particular is a great counter to Rock and Steel types that might otherwise cause it problems. Weavile is fairly fragile, but I like Alanza's chances of scoring a quick win against her opponents here. Skill Rating: 5/5
Alanza, an unskippable trainer who will challenge you to a battle if you walk by, is complaining that she just wants to spend time with her Pokemon and that people keep challenging her to battles. Evidently she fled to Victory Road just for the peace and quiet, which . . . honestly I feel like you should pick a forest or something? Anyway, she comes to appreciate that some people like to spend time with their Pokemon by doing battles. I'm glad we were here for her, one of the most capable Trainers in Kalos, to have this revelation. Coolness Rating: 3/5
Victory Road: Ace Trainer Bence
Bence has a Steelix at lv 56, an Electrode at Lv 56, and a Kangaskhan at Lv 57. I don't have time to talk about his full moveset here, but it is solid; Electrode is being used mainly as a setup Pokemon--a solid candidate if ever there was--which means he should really be leading with it instead of that Steelix, and overall I'm not impressed with the setup movepool: Light Screen is nice, but Screech and Eerie Impulse are both only really good for one Pokemon, and your setup Pokemon really needs to be useful for at least two. Steelix also suffers from being very slow and only really good at defense, and Kangaskhan is good but not great, but this team has some surprises ready. Skill Rating: 4/5
Bence seems to be trying to level his Steelix specifically, which is interesting; he specifically says "You look like you'd be a good opponent for my Steelix to gain some good experience." He is wrong, of course, but that's neither here nor there. This is a fairly smug and unfriendly way to introduce yourself; expressing a desire or belief to win is all well and good, but "I see you primarily as a vehicle for grinding up levels on my Steelix" is rude. Coolness Rating: 1/5
Victory Road: Black Belt Markus
Markus has a level 60 Machamp, with, if the speedrun's spreadsheet is to be believed, has Cross Chop, Poison Jab, Earthquake, and Stone Edge. This is a great moveset. I think Machamp's speed is a little too low to carry this, but if it lands a hit with any of those, especially a super effective hit, that 130 base attack is enough to cause some serious damage, so I do give Markus the edge in a lot of fights here. Skill Rating: 4/5
Markus is the second Black Belt whose whole gimmick is training in his bare feet and realizing after he loses that this doesn't actually make him very good at Pokemon battles. Unlike Cadoc, the other guy, he doesn't seem to actually enjoy it. Points deducted for lack of originality and also for not at least enjoying himself now. Coolness Rating: 1/5
Victory Road: Battle Girl Veronique
Veronique has a Halwucha and a Mienshao. I quite like both of these Pokemon; I'm less enamored with her choice to put High Jump Kick on both of her Pokemon. I think you can get away with High Jump Kick maybe once as a surprise move, and then you will always need to worry that they'll switch to a ghost or use Fly or Dig or something. Otherwise a pretty solid team, though. Skill Rating: 4/5
While I'm not entirely sure what Veronique's deal is--she seems to have spotted that we are new to Victory Road and wants to remind us to relax and have a good time and not get stressed, which, honestly, always good to remind people--she seems nice. Coolness Rating: 4/5
Victory Road: Backpacker Farid
Farid is our last Backpacker, I think! He has a Haxorus at level 58, which knows Guillotine, Dragon Claw, Slash, and Assurance. The moveset here is pretty uninspired, honestly; no interesting coverage options. Normally a solo pseudo-legendary is automatically getting a pretty high rating here but ultimately I find myself concerned that he's not living up to that potential. Skill Rating: 3/5
Farid offers a few aphorisms about going on journeys. They're fine, I guess. Coolness Rating: 3/5
Victory Road: Battle Girl Sigrid
Sigrid has a level 60 Medicham, which knows a Fire, Thunder, and Ice Punch, and Zen Headbutt. It's a pretty good spread, but despite having effectively a 120 base attack, the rest of its stats are pretty mediocre, which really drags it down. Skill Rating: 3/5
Sigrid does the standard "you dare challenge me!?" into "wow you beat me you're pretty good" pivot that I feel is a pretty established trope for the martial artist trainer archetype. Coolness Rating: 3/5
Victory Road: Psychic William
William has a level 58 Espeon with Psychic, Psyshock, Future Sight, and Dazzling Gleam. It's interesting to note that the trainers who aren't martial artists or Ace Trainers seem to have worse movesets overall; this one lacks a bit for diversity but I feel like psychic and fairy combined makes for a pretty potent combo. Skill Rating: 4/5
William's intro--"I can tell that you're here because you want to challenge a strong opponent!"--seems like your standard "psychic" cold read, but then when we defeat him he says "The strong opponents you so desire are up ahead." Absolutely flawless punchline. Coolness Rating: 5/5
Victory Road: Black Belt Ander
Ander has a Pangoro at level 57 and a Heracross at level 58. Both have pretty solid movesets, and reasonable stat spreads; I'm tempted to give him a higher rating here, but they both have a 4x weakness and while I think Heracross is a strong addition to just about any team, Pangoro feels a bit weak for Victory Road. Skill Rating: 4/5
Ander makes the assertion that "moves are a result of a Pokemon's strength!", tell us to "keep up the good work" because "repetition is strength", and asserts, after we beat him, that "when two Pokemon use the same move, the stronger one will win". I think every single thing he just said was wrong, somehow. Coolness Rating: 2/5
Victory Road: Brains & Brawn Arman & Hugo
Arman and Hugo come at us with a Medicham at level 58 and a Gallade at level 60. The Medicham has Reflect and Light Screen, and the Gallade has Swords Dance and some pretty solid coverage moves. This is a decent but not great setup for doubles; the main weakness here is Medicham, whose mediocre stats will make it struggle to survive past potentially setting up a screen or two, but I see the vision here: give Gallade a turn or two to set up, then hopefully do the sweep. Skill Rating: 4/5
Hugo tells us that they are more interested in perfecting their teamwork than challenging the Champion, and that people think this is unusual. One gets the feeling that Arman is a bit impatient and Hugo is fairly quiet. Hard to get a read on them. Coolness Rating: 3/5
Victory Road: Fairy Tale Girl Corinne
Corinne has a level 56 Azumarill and a level 56 Florges. Azumarill remains a perennial also-ran, but Florges, I like. Florges has very good special attack and extremely good special defense, and an otherwise decent stat spread. It's certainly the only reason Corinne's rating isn't a notch lower. Skill Rating: 3/5
It's interesting that of the various types of Trainers to be found on Victory Road, we get a Fairy Tale Girl. Corinne certainly seems atypical of the trainer class (not cutesy, "Get a taste of my power!", etc.), and she says she's been at it for "a while" but it's hard to say if that's, like, a few weeks or a few years. You know? She was previously embarrassed about being a Fairy Tale Girl but this battle apparently has given her pride and confidence. All right. Coolness Rating: 3/5
Victory Road: Hex Maniac Raziah
Raziah has a level 58 Gourgeist. As much as I love the spooky pumpkin, Gourgeist isn't fantastic, but it's capable of holding its own. I'm not sure what size Gourgeist he has, which is unfortunate because that is a thing that matters, but I don't think it affects my decision too much here. Skill Rating: 3/5
Raziah tells us that she can see our aura, and that it looks unlucky. That seems rude! But then we beat her and she clarifies that it looks warm and kind, but unlucky for everyone we oppose, which . . . I dunno, that doesn't sound like how you'd normally phrase that, Raziah. Coolness Rating: 3/5
Victory Road: Pokemon Trainer Calem
This is our penultimate fight against Calem! There's one more in the postgame, so he still doesn't get a rating. This time he has a Meowstic, an Eeveelution based on our starter, an Altaria, an Absol, and the fully evolved starter. Five Pokemon! Almost a full team! He has pivoted to a Meowstic that's almost entirely offensive, which isn't really where that Pokemon shines, but otherwise this is a pretty strong spread. Lots of coverage and good Pokemon, and for the most part I like his movesets.
Calem tells us he has been thinking about the whole thing with Team Flare and has come to the conclusion that it's impossible to say that anyone is in the right in that situation, because "our positions forced our hands." "Lysandre chose Team Flare. You and I chose everyone but Team Flare." Buddy, they were trying to murder all of humanity! There is no reasonable center position to take! But he does it, he tries to tell us that "If both sides have something to say, it's best to meet halfway." And that is why he is doing battle with us not just to try to win, but also to understand us. Whatever, man.
And that's it for this time! At the end of this half of Victory Road, there's a nice Pokemon Ranger lady who heals us up and gives us a pep talk for the road ahead; next time, the second half! I think the second half ends up actually being easier than the first, if for no other reason than the NPC trainers' levels don't increase as you progress, so your team will naturally be relatively stronger than theirs by the time you reach the end. But that's just a fun aside, and something we will maybe revisit in more depth next time. I'll see you then, mes amis.
Thinking of it, I'm probably kind of weird in thinking of Pokemon as a game with dungeons, but I didn't have any Zelda or Metroidvanias growing up, so Pokemon and Super Mario World ghost houses are what I had if I wanted to explore a labyrinth.↩
The joke of calling this series The Very Best is, of course, that we are searching for the best trainer in Kalos and also that's what the stated goal is of the narrator of the Pokemon theme song. I think we found a 5/5 very early on actually? We could have stopped there, but I have the spirit of a scientist and I am never giving it back.↩
If you will.↩
Most NPC trainers' Pokemon simply have the last four moves that Pokemon learns via leveling up, with a few exceptions.↩