the very best, pt. xvii
We are back! I wasn't planning to go anywhere, but there was a holiday so my schedule was disrupted and then I was focusing on other writing and forgot to continue our voyage here. But we are back with another installment of The Very Best, our ongoing journey in documenting how cool and talented everyone is in Pokemon X. (The trainers, anyway. I don't have time to document all of the randos. Maybe if they had names.) So, without further ado, let's get to it!
It's Like A Dark Souls Shortcut, Trust Me
This week is a little unexciting in that we don't actually go anywhere. Route 16 leads back to Lumiose City, but there isn't really a reason for us to go there right now; and the Lost Hotel has some items in it. But for being an entirely optional segment of the game there sure are a lot of trainers! Let's begin.
Route 16: Sky Trainer Clara
Clara has a level 38 Emolga and a level 40 Swellow. Now, I have previously said nice things about Sky Trainers with Emolgae, but by the time level 40 rolls around, its mediocre stat spread is really coming back to haunt it, and Swellow doesn't really have the stats to back that up, either. Unfortunately I don't think Clara's team is going to take her very far in the competitive world of Sky Battles. Skill Rating: 2/5
Clara opens with your standard Sky Trainer "up in the sky" poetic nonsense, but then when we defeat her she says "Bwaaah! Bad memories, fly away!" and then says that her "heart and spirit" have returned to her hometown of Mistralton City, the city in Unova with the airport. This makes me think perhaps she has come here to escape from a dark and troubled past. Perhaps one that involves losing a Pokemon battle. Hang in there, Clara! Maybe get some better Pokemon. Coolness Rating: 4/5
Route 16: Roller Skater Jet
Jet (woo-oo-oo woo-oo-oo woo-oo-oo) has a level 37 Delcatty and a level 39 Swanna. Unremarkable, but in a bad way. Skill Rating: 2/5
Jet likes skating. She names some skate moves, then we do a battle. Then she says she "blew it on the barrel roll." I think without the assistance of a fairly specialized corkscrew ramp a barrel roll is just physically impossible on roller skates. Then she asserts that it would be better for her to focus only on skating or on Pokemon battles. While that is maybe true if your goal is to become the very best, personally I think everyone should have multiple hobbies. Focusing on one thing is a good way to burn out, if nothing else. But since she comes to the conclusion that she just loves both hobbies too much to give either of them up I don't think she really needs my advice. Coolness Rating: 3/5
Route 16: Roller Skater Olle
Olle (I swear they typoed his name) has a level 40 Manectric. Manectric is a solid but somewhat uninspired choice; it's fast and hits pretty hard, but it's got a few notable weak points that keep it from elevating Olle's team to the next level. Skill Rating: 3/5
Olle seems to think he is pretty skilled, is impressed with our skills once we beat him, and asks if we know about the Lost Hotel. He might be the only person that hints that there's a skate trick we can learn at the Lost Hotel. (I really wish knowing skate tricks was more useful. Minigame or something with style points would be . . . probably not something I care about but potentially fun, y'know?) Coolness Rating: 3/5
Route 16: Sky Trainer Gavin
Gavin has a Chimecho and a Vibrava at level 37, and a Talonflame at level 39. Vibrava is the clear weak point here--I quite like Talonflame and Chimecho is a pretty solid pick, but Vibrava's stats are so low that it really doesn't stand a chance to even get any interesting moves off. Still, the others do make up for that. It's a respectable team. Skill Rating: 3/5
Gavin starts with your standard Sky Trainer intro, then talks about how losing to us has given him food for thought, then that reminds him he hasn't had dinner yet. Keep on keeping on, Gavin. Coolness Rating: 3/5
Route 16: Pokemon Ranger Lee
Lee has a Crawdaunt and a Sandslash at level 39. Two heavy-hitting physical attackers with otherwise mostly mediocre stats, both with a Grass weakness. The Grass weakness here is forgivable but I think I have to give him a downgraded rating here just because it is so easy to accidentally counter a team where both Pokemon are relying on the same gimmick. Skill Rating: 2/5
Lee says that "we" (Rangers) are "about as strong as Ace Trainers", which is interesting because it suggests that there is a fairly established hierarchy of the strength of various trainer classes. He also thinks we're just an ordinary Trainer, which . . . c'mon man we're the protagonist. We crush all who stand in our way. And then he says Rangers are more practical than Ace Trainers. I don't know; was it an Ace Trainer or a Ranger who healed up our Pokemon at her little makeshift campsite in the Frost Cavern, Lee? (It was an Ace Trainer. She's our friend now.) Coolness Rating: 2/5
Route 16: Hex Maniac Osanna
Osanna has a level 40 Pumpkaboo. You gotta evolve that Pumpkaboo, Osanna, those pre-evolved base stats are tragic. Skill Rating: 1/5
I feel like Osanna is kind of phoning it in. She does a little evil cackle but "Through [our battle] I will learn all there is to know about you" isn't very mystical, and then she just says we're like the protagonist of a game. I'm sorry, Osanna, but you gotta step up your hex maniac game. Coolness Rating: 2/5
Route 16: Pokemon Ranger Bjorn
Bjorn has a level 41 Sliggoo. At this level Sliggoo has a respectable stat spread (but also, could have evolved by now), so it's solid, but it's also not really going to be the odds-on favorite for most fights at this level. Still, not a bad pick. Skill Rating: 3/5
Bjorn is, apparently, the Red Ranger. He suggests we can join his team and be the Blue Ranger. I'm not interested, Bjorn, I'm sorry. Coolness Rating: 2/5
Route 16: Mysterious Sisters Achlys & Eos
As an aside: why aren't they called Weird Sisters? Anyway. Achlys and Eos come at us with a Gardevoir and an Alakazam, both at level 40. See, this is what I'm talking about. These two hit hard and are fast enough that you are almost certainly taking some hits with them; it's fairly easy to imagine this duo winning a lot of their fights. Skill Rating: 4/5
Getting good vibes from this pair. They're friendly, they're polite, they're complimentary, they seem to enjoy working together as a team and they wish us the best in the future. More people should be like these two. Coolness Rating: 4/5
Route 16: Fairy Tale Girl Alice
Alice has a Klefki and a Mawile at lv. 37 and 39, respectively. While I quite like Klefki, it's really at its best when it's setting up for a stronger Pokemon, and Mawile . . . let's just say it really needs the Mega Evolution it got this gen. Unfortunately, Alice doesn't have that. Skill Rating: 2/5
Alice is exhibiting the default child personality type. She wants to be like her mother, who made this dress for her. She seems nice enough, I guess? Coolness Rating: 3/5
Route 16: Fisherman Wade
Wade has two Poliwhirls, one at level 37 and one at level 39. I'm sorry, Wade, but you have had over ten levels to evolve these. This is simply not going to cut it. Skill Rating: 1/5
Wade has adopted a folksy cowboy patois, for some reason? This isn't typical of fishermen. He leaves us with this baffling pearl of wisdom: "When yer fishing, ya get to meet Pokémon twice! Once when they catch the line and once when you pull ’em up! That’s why I say fishing is the best way to get to know a Pokémon!" Okay, Wade, whatever you say. Coolness Rating: 2/5
Route 16: Fisherman Seward
Seward has a level 40 Whiscash. I have a fondness for the Water/Ground combo, since it only has the one weakness and it nicely covers Water's Electric weakness; unfortunately, Whiscash doesn't really excel at anything, as cool as it is as a Pokemon. Skill Rating: 3/5
Seward has adopted a philosophy of persistence even in the face of failure, which is admirable. He has, at the time of our meeting, "lost the biggest catch of [his] life"; but he thinks we are an even bigger catch. Is that weird? I feel like that's weird. But despite that he seems pretty chill. We can hang. Coolness Rating: 4/5
Route 16: Fisherman Finn
Finn has two Basculin. A pretty unremarkable team all around. Skill Rating: 3/5
Finn has a less pronounced folksy patois--he just says "ya" instead of "you" rather than, as Wade did before us, describing anything as "rootin' tootin'", which should be illegal. He has adopted a "trying new things is a risk but it's more fun" philosophy, which I respect. Coolness Rating: 4/5
Lost Hotel: Punk Guy Slater
Slater has a level 42 Dunsparce. I'm sorry, Slater, that Dunsparce is not nearly strong enough to back up your aggressive attitude. Skill Rating: 2/5
Though initially very aggressive, because he perceives us as a threat, Slater seems to mostly just want to hang out and enjoy the ambience of the abandoned hotel. I can get behind that. Coolness Rating: 4/5
Lost Hotel: Punk Guy Jacques
Jacques has a Skuntank and a Crawdaunt at level 40. I like this team. The Skuntank has Toxic and very strong defensive typing, rendering it a potential threat to a lot of Pokemon you might have on offer, and the Crawdaunt can take advantage of a weakened Pokemon to secure the victory. Solid team-building, Jacques. Skill Rating: 4/5
Jacques has apparently only become a Punk Guy because he was copying his buddy's "bad guy act", but he appears to be quite timid, despite having one of the most formidable teams in the area. Evidently he and his pal were once Rising Stars. Don't, uh, turn British and listen to punk music, kids, or you, too, could end up like Jacques. Coolness Rating: 2/5
Lost Hotel: Punk Girl Cecile
Cecile has two level 40 Liepards. They have Sand Attack and Growl. While potentially annoying, this team is not very threatening. And if you have Aerial Ace it's not threatening at all. Skill Rating: 2/5
Cecile is here fleeing the legacy of her family of Veterans and Ace Trainers. She says she "couldn't stand to be all goody two-shoes like them", and certainly her "cool over quality" team is a profound act of rebellion against trainer classes that are meant to be among the elite. She tells us she doesn't care about losing and only loves the thrill of battle, which, honestly, fair. I like Cecile. Coolness Rating: 5/5
And with that, we're done with another week! Next week (probably, I'm trying my best, I promise), it's on to Route 17 and the Anistar Gym! And then I think it's finishing up the main plot? We're nearing the end! That's exciting. As a teaser of what I am currently planning, my current planned title for the next series will be Engagement Farming, but I reserve the right to change my mind if something else grabs me, and I think we may also be doing a short interlude with more Case by Case apocrypha.
But all that's still a ways out! For now, we've got a region to save, gym badges to collect, a Champion to defeat, our rival's dreams to crush, and also this whole post-game story that I always thought was really fun. So stick around if all of that sounds fun.