the very best, pt. xvi
Oh hey, it's me again! I must once again apologize for missing a week of my beloved series The Very Best, documenting the coolness and talent of all of the trainers in Pokemon X; once again I forgot about it until late in the evening, because one of the other things I was planning to do also ended up falling through and that reset my brain's scheduling subroutines. C'est la vie! (The problem, you see, is that unlike Case by Case, I can knock this out in a couple hours, so I don't set aside the entire evening for it. And while I could fix this by just doing more, these posts do tend to get a bit long . . . look, not every game can be as perfectly formatted for my weekly bullshit as the Ace Attorney series, and I am just having to deal with that. Anyway, let's begin!
We're In For A Cool Time
We arrive in Dendemille Town, a town with a bunch of windmills in and everyone's favorite goth milk saleswoman, and are guided towards the Frost Cavern, where something is going on, and that something is making the Mamoswine we need to ride in order to get through the next route shirk its duties. Unfortunate. As it turns out, Team Flare is there, just kind of torturing an Abomasnow, for some reason? Something about harvesting energy? Anyway, Frost Cavern is your standard sliding-on-ice movement puzzle dungeon and I quite like it.
Frost Cavern Exterior: Hiker Ross
Ross has a level 44 Vibrava. This is very unfortunate for him, because he's one level away from Flygon, one of my favorite Dragon types, and while design-wise Vibrava is also extremely cool, stat-wise it's pretty disappointing, even at level 44. Skill Rating: 2/5
Ross's whole deal at the moment seems to be being very cold. He tries to warm up with a Pokemon Battle, but we crush him, as we do all who oppose us, so he is left cold, literally. He says he'll cuddle with his Pokemon to keep warm but I don't think Vibrava is warm blooded and it has a 4x weakness to ice, so, like. Maybe you should go find shelter? Make friends with a cool Ace Trainer like we do later on, maybe? Coolness Rating: 3/5
Frost Cavern Exterior: Sky Trainer Celso
Celso's level 41 Carnivine and level 44 Swanna were especially effective at dealing with my team in particular; Carnivine had Crunch (I think), which all but obliterated my Drifblim (which subsequently died to hail), leaving only my Aerodactyl to deal with its Swanna, which was similarly all but obliterated and died subsequently to hail. If we're rating "skill at countering me in particular" this team rules; but I think, while this is a solid team, it doesn't offer a lot of counters to the Sky Battle meta. Skill Rating: 4/5
Celso is waxing poetic about flying and his Pokemon that fly, calling them his "wings" (and our wings!) and talking about them cutting through various obstacles, both literal and metaphorical. He seems a little sad he lost? I dunno, sometimes it's hard to get a read on someone when they're committed to the bit. Coolness Rating: 3/5
Frost Cavern Exterior: Sky Trainer Era
Era has a level 45 Cryogonal. I actually quite like this pick for Sky Battles; it's got a solid stat spread (though very poor physical defense) and being an Ice type grants it STAB on Ice-type moves against a pool of predominantly flying Pokemon. I'm a little concerned that the way they usually assign moves to NPC trainers might mean it only has Slash as an offensive move, but as I have said before, I try not to deduct points for that. (I will occasionally deduct points for fielding a Pokemon before it has access to good moves, though!) I think Era's got a bright future ahead of her with Cryogonal. Skill Rating: 4/5
This is Era's first ever battle as a Sky Trainer! She seems pretty excited. She is sad that she lost and then laments how it took her an hour to get in that wingsuit, which . . . yeah I can see how that would be kind of frustrating. I like her, though. She seems fun.
Oh yeah! Remember how I said you couldn't talk to Sky Trainers after battle? I discovered with Era that you actually can, you just have to leave the spot and then come back to re-trigger the conversation. Still, very fortunate that I found a text dump since I only just discovered that, eh? Coolness Rating: 4/5
Frost Cavern Exterior: Artist Salvador
Salvador has a level 44 Smeargle. Look, we've dealt with Smeargles before. I didn't bother documenting this one's moves though I think it had Power Gem or something? I was already giving them 2/5 ratings back when they were level 16; by now they are so thoroughly outclassed by everything they just don't have a chance. Skill Rating: 1/5
Salvador wants us to stand still for his portrait, then attacks us, and chastises us for defending ourselves. Then he suggests that we, as one of the youths, don't care for paintings anymore because we have movies. Come on, man, don't be an old man yelling at clouds. Coolness Rating: 2/5
Frost Cavern: Ace Trainer Cordelia
Cordelia's level 46 Doublade can be a pretty nasty opponent--my party, for reference, is, as of the end of the Frost Cavern, somewhere between level 38 and level 42; at the start of tonight we were looking at level 37 as a baseline. So while Doublade's Special Defense leaves a fair bit to be desired, it outlevels most teams well enough that it's not a guaranteed OHKO unless your Special Attack is a lot better than the one I had, and with access to Night Slash and Iron Head, it hits pretty damn hard. Skill Rating: 4/5
Cordelia challenges us because we look strong, and asserts that she was pretty close to winning--which, honestly, she did just straight up murder my Drifblim, that's valid. She then laments after battle that she doesn't ever use Ethers in battle because they're so rare. Personally I generally only use them outside of battle, but the point is made, I guess. Coolness Rating: 4/5
Frost Cavern: Ace Trainer Neil
Neil's got a Raichu, Golduck, and Marowak, all at level 42. This is a decent team, covers a lot of bases; Marowak is probably the weak link here but it's, y'know, fine. Unfortunately all of these are pretty easy to counter, though the Golduck did eat my Roserade for breakfast. Skill Rating: 3/5
Neil is doing the 'waxing poetic about how virtuous he is because that's a defining quality of being an Ace Trainer' thing and I always find this routine a little tiresome. He's not just "remaining distinguished even in the face of defeat", he's making sure we know about it, and how virtuous he is for doing it. You're not invited to the party, Neil. Coolness Rating: 2/5
Frost Cavern: Hiker Alain
Alain has two Gravelers and a Carbink, at level 40, 41, and 42 respectively. The Gravelers both have Sturdy and I assume they both have Self-Destruct, which he used, and, like . . . that's a valid strat. Carbink is kind of disappointing as a pick here, with high defensive stats and nothing to back them up, but, eh, he's doing his best. Skill Rating: 2/5
Alain is shouting because it's cold. I'm a little disappointed at how ill-prepared some of these Hikers are, you know? Coolness Rating: 2/5
Frost Cavern: Hiker Delmon
With a Relicanth and a Rhydon at level 42, Delmon has two physically powerful Pokemon with a 4x weakness to Grass and basically no Special Defense. You gotta cover your weaknesses, Delmon. Skill Rating: 1/5
Delmon comes from a long line of Hikers, proclaims himself an elite Hiker, and then loses all of that confidence as soon as we crush his team, and proclaims that he will live as an ordinary Hiker thenceforth. I feel like this guy had an entire character arc in the span of time it took me to use Giga Drain twice. Coolness Rating: 2/5
Frost Cavern: Brains & Brawn Eoin & Wolf
This pair have a level 44 Grumpig and a level 46 Hariyama, and I gotta tell you, it was very nearly a bad time for my team, despite the aforementioned team being selected to counter the Brains & Brawn duo. It's a good combo! Skill Rating: 5/5
Not really sure what's going on with these two. Eoin doesn't believe in strategy, Wolf is just sort of talking about how of course everyone wants to win . . . and then Wolf declares we're "fighting friends" after? I dunno. They seem nice? What is a fighting friend? Do I want the answer to that question? Coolness Rating: 3/5
Frost Cavern: Black Belt Alonzo
With a Scrafty and a Throh, at 43 and 44, Alonzo is reminding me of one of the core weaknesses of my existing team: my answers to Fighting types are all weak to Rock, and a lot of Fighting types learn Rock moves. So he did some pretty solid work on my team, and these are both pretty solid Pokemon. Not everyone has this glaring weakness that my team has (this team is, I think, strictly worse than what I'd usually be running, but I wanted to use Delphox for a run), but I still think these two can win a lot of fights. Skill Rating: 4/5
Alonzo's whole deal is creeping on the Battle Girl we're about to fight. Please be less creepy, my mans. Coolness Rating: 1/5
Frost Cavern: Battle Girl Kinsey
Kinsey has a Sawk and a Mienshao, at level 33 and 34. This is in many ways the complement to Alonzo's team, except hers features the faster, more offensive, and therefore just better Pokemon. Skill Rating: 5/5
Kinsey is very grateful that someone besides Alonzo is here for her to fight and interact with; she does not yet understand that you can just leave if a dude has been staring at you for hours. Kick his ass if he follows you, girl. You're better than this. Coolness Rating: 4/5
Frost Cavern: Black Belt Kenji
Kenji has a level 46 Gurdurr. As you might expect with one of the unevolved trade evolution Pokemon, Gurdurr is fine but would be a lot better if it were evolved. Like, a lot better. Skill Rating: 2/5
Kenji is very fixated on circular movements being the secret to karate. He is walking in circles. I don't think that's how it works! At least he gets a pun in on "kneading dough". Coolness Rating: 3/5
Frost Cavern: Hiker Brent
Brent has a level 44 Probopass. Probopass is another entry in the "very strong defenses but nothing really to back it up" category; it has an acceptable special attack, so it is probably cable of winning fights, but those stats do just effectively guarantee that it won't come out of any fight clean. Skill Rating: 3/5
Another entry in the "Hiker is cold" series, Brent at least doesn't seem like he's about to die from hypothermia or frostbite or whatever, though he seems less certain than you'd like that he can just use Probopass's Magnet Pull to keep warm. Maybe test that first, buddy! Coolness Rating: 3/5
Frost Cavern: Battle Girl Gabrielle
Gabrielle has a level 46 Medicham. Medicham is pretty mediocre for this level. It hits hard, but not hard enough that I'm putting money on it in any fights, you know? Skill Rating: 2/5
Gabrielle opens by saying she is very proud of "her pupil" because "her Pokemon have gotten so strong." She then refuses to elaborate on this, and instead suggests that we should consider using her in place of one of our Pokemon, because she knows some Pokemon moves. I'm concerned. Coolness Rating: 2/5
Frost Cavern: Team Flare Grunt
This Grunt has a level 42 Golbat and a level 42 Manectric. I think I'd feel more charitably inclined to this team if it were a little higher level, but this is the sort of team that is mainly useful for slowing someone down when in conjunction with a bunch of other Grunts and this is the only Grunt here. Skill Rating: 2/5
This is the Grunt who is really excited about the Team Flare pose. We've fought her before! She doesn't really seem to entirely understand what's going on here, and I'm prepared to forgive that. Coolness Rating: 3/5
Frost Cavern: Team Flare Mable
Mable has a level 48 Houndoom. I admit I was a little disappointed with how easily my Aerodactyl took it out despite nearly ten levels of deficit, but, you know, we live and learn. No rating for Mable yet since we fight her again later, where somehow her Houndoom will be at a lower level? What? How is that possible?
Anyway, she seems like the most clear-eyed (derogatory) of the Scientists so far. Very clear that the reason they are amassing Pokemon and energy is because they want to make sure they survive and everyone else dies. That sucks! I suspect I will give you a very low coolness score, Mable.
And with that, our excursion into the Frost Cavern comes to an end. We have saved Abomasnow from being captured by Team Flare, and also freed up its pal Mamoswine to give us a ride on Route 17. But first we have to do do Route 15 and the rest of the Lost Hotel, which I think I should have done first, based on the levels of the Trainers involved? Oops! We'll see what next week holds, I guess! Until then, friends.