the very best, pt. xv
Okay, so, I actually remembered to do the hard part of this (playing, transcribing) on Monday, and then I got distracted with the story I'm working on and wrote that instead and forgot to do the writeup until it was like 3 am and I was already in bed. So for fans of The Very Best, my ongoing series documenting the coolest and the best trainers in Pokemon X (but also, let's be fair, the worst), I can but apologize. But one must soldier on, mustn't one?
Goths, Punks, and Nature Boys
From Laverre City we follow Route 15 east to Dendemille Town, the town where a goth will sell you milk if you ask her nice. This is a path covered in lovely autumn leaves, and also there's an abandoned hotel where skater punks like to hang out. Not much story happening here, though Lysandre does give us a call to randomly speculate on mega evolution. Kind of a weird phone call, dude, I'm pretty sure we're like sixteen.
Anyway, an observation that I found sort of odd: all the Pokemon Rangers on this route in particular are male. Are they trying to balance out the femininity of the Hex Maniacs and Fairy Tale Girls? Is that a thing they even consider? What goes into deciding who gets placed where, anyway?
These questions, and many more, will not be answered if you read on!
Route 15: Pokemon Ranger Silas
Silas has a Quagsire and a Beartic, both at level 39. Quagsire's not the greatest option--stats would be salvageable without that poor speed, but as it is it ends up being insufficiently sturdy to do much; you can get pretty good mileage out of mediocre stats but high speed, but mediocre stats with low speed . . . less so. Beartic is a little better, in that it hits harder and its speed isn't quite so bad, but kind of the same boat. I don't think Silas is winning the Route 15 Ranger contest. Skill Rating: 2/5
Silas ambushes us and seems really excited about it. He's having a good time, at least, and seems to be a pretty good sport about us beating him. I like his enthusiasm, but I think I'd find him pretty exhausting to hang out with. Coolness Rating: 3/5
Route 15: Hex Maniac Luna
Luna has a level 40 Chimecho. I feel like Chimecho is decent, but not great; I'm not going to fault Luna for the game giving her a bad moveset here. Chimecho's a decent choice. Skill Rating: 3/5
Luna is talking about Poke Balls, and their roundness. She says she feels well rounded. I wonder if she works at the Poke Ball Factory? Is she on break out here on Route 15? Coolness Rating: 3/5
Route 15: Pokemon Ranger Dean
Dean's team consists of a level 37 Watchog, a level 38 Swoobat, and a level 39 Seadra. Swoobat's a good example of what I was saying earlier about good speed saving mediocre stats; Seadra is solid but not impressive, and Watchog is also here. I think this team is pretty close to being onto something; swap that Watchog out for something a little bit stronger and those other two will be a great way to soften up the opponents for the main event. Skill Rating: 3/5
Dean is upset that we sneaked up on him, which, like. He was hiding under a pile of leaves, and while I admit I was actively looking for people to fight, it's kind of on him that he didn't notice me coming and actively searching all the leaf piles for opponents. But he gets over it and he's out here because he doesn't like talking to people, much so, you do you, champ. Coolness Rating: 3/5
Pokemon Ranger Keith
Keith has a level 41 Gabite. Now, we're more likely to have a strong Fairy-type move by now, which does lower the expected value of a Gabite by a little bit, but I still think this Gabite's got a pretty good chance to beat a lot of teams you're likely to encounter around here. Skill Rating: 4/5
Keith is reminiscing about "a certain benefactor" of his, who set him on the path to being a Pokemon Ranger today. He seems to be focused on being grateful for the people he's crossed paths with, and that seems like a really neat philosophy. But we have to talk about Keith's benefactor.
It's Lysandre, the game's villain.
I don't hold this against Keith. He seems to have lost touch--"I wonder how he's doing these days," he concludes upon his defeat--and right now Lysandre hasn't revealed how villainous he is yet, and maybe he was more normal back then? I just love this little character detail (and I'm pretty sure this is why Lysandre gives us a call on this route, to make sure we remember him). Coolness Rating: 4/5
Route 15: Pokemon Ranger Pedro
Pedro has a level 41 Vileplume. I'm putting this one in a similar category to the Gabite above--it's not the best imaginable Pokemon, but you can easily imagine it winning more than it loses against the sort of teams you're likely to encounter at this point in the game. A better speed stat and you're really cooking here. Skill Rating: 4/5
Pedro wants to be interviewed by TV for being a Pokemon Ranger, but he is hiding beneath some leaves. I don't think Pedro is setting himself up for success, and also you really shouldn't assume that random teens walking up to check your leaf pile are here to interview you. Coolness Rating: 2/5
Route 15: Mysterious Sisters Rune & Rime
Rune and Rime have a Floette and a Drifblim, each at level 40. I'd bump this up a bit if the Floette had evolved, but Floette just can't keep pace with Pokemon at this level, and that really limits the sisters' chance of victory. Skill Rating: 2/5
Rime is cheerful and having fun with battling, and Rune seems to be terrified of human interactions and . . . just about everything? I feel like I probably should have been rating these dual battles separately this whole time but I'm not, and honestly the vibes are just off here. Coolness Rating: 1/5
Route 15: Fairy Tale Girl Mahalyn
Mahalyn has a level 37 Dedenne and a level 39 Aromatisse. Pretty middle of the road; given that Fairy Tale Girls mostly use Fairy Types the Dedenne is a nice way to make sure they have some coverage in the event of a Poison or Steel type, but there's nothing exciting going on here, either. Skill Rating: 3/5
Mahalyn wants to show us the scary side of Fairy types, with the twist being that the scary thing about Fairy type is how cute and pretty they are. It feels like she put some effort into setting up that particular bit but also I think she should workshop it some more. Coolness Rating: 3/5
Route 15: Hex Maniac Carrie
Carrie has a Litwick and a Duosion, both at level 38. Litwick's stats are profoundly bad for this level; Duosion has a very good Special Attack and pretty bad everything else. I feel like if I come back in ten levels Carrie's team is good, but right now, it is whatever the opposite of good is. Skill Rating: 1/5
Carrie greets us with the standard spooky possessed cackling of a Hex Maniac, but then when we beat her, exclaims, "Oh, forget this whole Hex Maniac act!" and laments that she has no idea how she's supposed to act. You might think I'm about to chastise her but, like . . . there is something so relatable about this. I love her for this. I think we're going to become best of friends. Coolness Rating: 5/5
Lost Hotel: Punk Guy Sid
Sid has a Scrafty, Sharpedo, and Pawniard, all at level 39. This is a decent team; the Pawniard is a bit surplus to requirements but the other two have some stats that could win them battles. I think I'm going to overlook the Pawniard here, that Scrafty/Sharpedo core is strong. Strength Rating: 4/5
If I'm reading this correctly, Sid seems to like picking fights with kids so he can win easily, and maybe has an epiphany that age doesn't really affect your Pokemon battling skills? I dunno, kind of a weird energy, Sid. Coolness Rating: 1/5
Lost Hotel: Punk Girl Jeanne
Jeanne has level 40 snakes! A Seviper and an Arbok, to be precise. Of the two I think the Seviper is the stronger pick, and I don't think this team is weak, as such, I just think she could do better. Skill Rating: 3/5
I like Jeanne. She seems like she's having a good time, she shows respect upon her defeat, and she says "Ever think it's strange how we’d never have met if it weren't for us both bein' Trainers?" when we talk to her afterwards, which is exactly the sort of sentiment that I always find fascinating. Coolness Rating: 5/5
Punk Couple Zoya & Asa
Zoya and Asa have a Garbodor and Pangoro, both at level 42. Garbodor is your garden variety solid-but-not-great Pokemon, stats wise (though somehow I always assumed it was tankier?); Pangoro punches real hard. I think I like this pair, especially with Garbodor's Toxic and its ability to dish out some paralysis with . . . Body Slam, I think? That's good teamwork, right there. Skill Rating: 5/5
Zoya and Asa seem like they are getting very into the aesthetics of punk without understanding what it means to rebel, or to be "bad to the bone", or whatever. I can't claim any special knowledge of punk culture here, but I'm pretty sure these guys are posers. Coolness Rating: 2/5
And with this part of the Lost Hotel cleared, we can finally make our way to Dendemille Town, where we have bought so, so much milk from the local goth, and where I think next week we have the Frost Cavern? There's also another bit of the Lost Hotel on Route 16, which will happen when it happens. But we learned a new skate move from some rando who lives in the hotel, so that's fun, I guess. I'll see you next week, friends.