the very best, pt. xiii

22 Apr, 2025

Hello again, beloved readers! I missed last week's update because I stone cold forgot, due to a minor schedule disruption, and remembered . . . eh, sometime at work the next day? My perception of time is bound largely by ritual and anything that changes that makes me forget everything that has ever happened. Anyway, we are back once again with The Very Best, ongoing investigation into the coolness and talent of everyone in Pokemon X, and we're already running late so let's begin!

The Prism Tower

This week we are facing the Lumiose City Gym, which occupies the Eiffel Tower Prism Tower that shines at the heart of the city. It's a quiz gym with four floors and a three-answer multiple choice question on each floor, which means there are a total of twelve trainers. I think if you get a correct answer you are no longer allowed to fight the other trainers, which means you have to answer wrong A Lot. Which highlights a problem with this format: some people are doing a weird project that requires them to battle literally everyone. Can I just sign up for a gauntlet if I'm just going to fail on purpose?

Electric-type gyms run into the problem of being fairly easily trivialized by Ground types. While a few of our opponents have some water-type moves and Clemont has an Emolga, Electric has always felt uniquely incapable of covering this glaring weakness. Normal types usually learn some Dark moves to deal with Ghosts, and ground types usually have some Rock move to deal with Flying-types, and neither of them are weak to the type that's immune to them. Dragons are weak to Fairy-type attacks but dragons also usually have pretty solid coverage.

After the Gym we follow Route 14 to Laverre City, but we have to take down Clemont in order to get there.

Lumiose Gym: Schoolboy Arno

Our first contestant is Arno, who has a level 34 Pachirisu. Pachirisu is, y'know, fine at this level--nothing exciting but it's a minor roadblock, and that's what Gym trainers are for. Skill Rating: 3/5

Arno is a fairly neutral presence. Everyone is here as a proctor of this exam, of course, but Arno in particular seems to be very much occupying that role. Since he is a wrong answer, he does get in the mild barb: "At least there was nothing wrong about your strength!" which . . . buddy I know what a Pikachu looks like, I'm here because it's in my contract. Coolness Rating: 3/5

Lumiose Gym: Schoolboy Sherlock

Sherlock has a level 34 Stunfisk. Stunfisk has tanked its Speed stat to make all of its other stats pretty solid; especially since each floor of the gym seems to be escalating difficulty (until the last one), this one could be a pretty nasty surprise if you give the wrong answer. Which you won't, because this question is "identify Pikachu." Skill Rating: 4/5

Sherlock opens up extremely smug, and then tells us he is "always grinning to make it look like I have confidence," and then he calls us out on answering wrong on purpose to battle more. I appreciate that he is giving us this easy out on getting the "which Pokemon is Pikachu" question wrong, which has brought his rating back up to average. Coolness Rating: 3/5

Lumiose Gym: Schoolboy Finnian

It's interesting to contrast Finnian's Dedenne with Arno's Pachirisu; they have similar base stat totals but Pachirisu's stats are only in defensive areas¹, whereas Dedenne's are fairly evenly distributed. This makes it marginally worse defensively and a bit better offensively. In the context of a Gym battle I think I prefer the defensive stats, but it's basically a wash. Skill Rating: 3/5

Finnian, like Arno before him, is here to administer a test. He's a bit more encouraging and offers the standard "You have what it takes to go all the way!" encouragement, and praises our effort, but I don't feel like I've gotten to know Finnian as a person, you know? Coolness Rating: 3/5

Lumiose Gym: Rising Star Estel

Estel has a Raichu! As a kid I always loved having a Raichu on the team (also a Magneton, and not infrequently a Zapdos, but weirdly I have never thought of myself as an Electric-type kind of person). It's got a good stat spread: fast, hits pretty hard, can tank special attacks pretty well. It's got Static, which can really be a nuisance. Great pick. Skill Rating: 4/5

Estel, being the correct answer, is trying to induce doubt in our answer, invoking the sheer number of Pokemon this silhouette could possibly be, "But you think it's Fletchling, do you?" She is otherwise fairly generically encouraging. Coolness Rating: 3/5

Lumiose Gym: Rising Star Nelly

Speaking of Magneton, guess what Nelly has? (It's a Magneton. Level 35, like the other Rising Stars on this floor.) Now, I love Magneton dearly, and I'd be disappointed if one of the 13 trainers in this Gym didn't have one, but also, a double weakness to Ground in an Electric gym is begging to be crushed. She doesn't even have Sturdy, which would at least allow for a decent counterpunch. Alas. Skill Rating: 1/5

Once again we are being praised fairly generically here. She does make the slightly odd note, "This is a Pokemon Gym, after all, so we want to test your powers of observation as well," when we talk to her after battle, which . . . I dunno, that doesn't seem like a standard feature of a Gym, to me? Maybe that's what she thinks puzzle Gyms are trying to do? For me, I feel like my ability to brute force is the thing being tested. Coolness Rating: 3/5

Lumiose Gym: Rising Star Helene

While I feel that Manectric is basically a worse Raichu, it is similar enough to Raichu in most respects that I'm willing to give Helene's level 35 Manectric the same rating as the Raichu. Skill Rating: 4/5

Helene's initial vibe is kind of . . . I don't have a better way to describe this than "substitute teacher who is way more into the whole concept of teaching than the regular teacher". Then she struggles with accepting the reality of her defeat and says the quizzes are meant to test my love of Pokemon. Which does make me feel a little bad because I am failing these quizzes so hard. Coolness Rating: 3/5

Lumiose Gym: Ace Trainer Mathis

The modestly mediocre stat spread of a level 36 Lanturn is made up for with the fact that as a Water type it has some pretty decent counterattacks for Ground types, and its beefy HP total means it can probably take a hit or two. Skill Rating: 4/5

Mathis seems to be trying to wax philosophical about whether or not Pansage is the correct answer to this question. (It's not.) Then he calls us strange. This is a very offputting vibe. Coolness Rating: 2/5

Lumiose Gym: Ace Trainer Maxim

Maxim has a level 36 Electrode with Self-Destruct. Now, a normal Trainer with SD is just throwing, but a Gym Trainer with SD is only kind of throwing. While this Self-Destruct barely did any damage to my Gabite, it still did damage; Electrode is fast enough that it will be going first; ultimately my sense is that it needs Explosion for this gimmick to be good, but it's also ultimately costing me about as many resources as some of the more quotidian fights in this Gym. Skill Rating: 3/5

Maxim is an odd one. He's also doing some waxing philosophical, but when you say "no" to his "are you sure Pansear is the right answer" ramblings he does say "It's good to think things through, but mindlessly battling is good, too." Bizarre non sequitur assertions about status conditions aside, Maxim seems like he'd be interesting to have around, though I think I'd get tired of him pretty quick. Coolness Rating: 3/5

Lumiose Gym: Ace Trainer Rico

Rico has a level 36 Ampharos. Ampharos is a bit slower than I would like for what is probably meant to be the toughest fight in the Gym before the Leader, but it sure does hit hard, and its defenses are good enough that it's definitely going to hit back. A solid pick overall. Skill Rating: 4/5

Rounding out the philosophical trio here is Rico, who is waxing philosophical about making choices, and how it requires courage to make them and how the choices we make also shape the fate of our Pokemon and blah blah. I respect it. Coolness Rating: 4/5

Lumiose Gym: Poke Fan Abigail

Last floor! They really did not take into account the constraints and format of The Very Best when designing this Gym, let me tell you. After the Aces, this is meant to feel like a victory lap, but that doesn't mean I'll judge these Poke Fans less harshly. Abigail has a Minun at level 34. Now, I'm a little conflicted about how to rate this one, because on the one hand it's very similar to Pachirisu, but with worse Defense, and on the other hand I have fought 9 Trainers with my Gabite already, and the main way it's different from Pachirisu is worse Defense, which, it must be noted, is the stat Ground-type moves tend to attack. While most people will probably not have nine fights under their belt at this point, I am still deducting a point here. Skill Rating: 2/5

We're back to "here to proctor a test." She's the only one on this floor who tells us which Pokemon her silhouette was, which is nice of her, I guess, but . . . who really is Abigail, though, behind the Minun? Coolness Rating: 3/5

Lumiose Gym: Poke Fan Lydie

Tara has a Plusle, which as far as I can tell is basically identical to Minun in every way that matters. Skill Rating: 2/5

I can't tell if Lydie is trying to fake us out--"Wow, you're seriously going to pick No. 2?" followed by a "Yeah, I'm not too sure about this one, either" if you back out--or if she just doesn't know the answer. Her after-battle quote, though, "Who do you think even wrote these questions?" does suggest that she may have just wandered in off the street and gotten the gig on accident. Coolness Rating: 4/5

Lumiose Gym: Poke Fan Tara

Tara has a Pikachu! As expected from the series mascot, its stat spread is abysmal and it is easily defeated by a stiff breeze. Skill Rating: 1/5

Tara tells us "life is harsh like that" multiple times, first in response to the fact that we have to battle before we find out if she was the correct answer, and then in response to her being defeated by me, a person who somehow found a way to defeat her Pikachu, but she gives off the vibe of someone who just really enjoys living in the moment, for the highs and the lows. Coolness Rating: 4/5

Lumiose Gym: Leader Clemont

Clemont has an Emolga at level 35, a Magneton at level 35, and a Heliolisk at level 37. And I gotta say, this team is disappointing. Magneton's Sturdy allows it to get out a Flash Cannon before being wiped out by a stray Bulldoze, which could set up the Heliolisk for a KO, but Heliolisk is the only Pokemon in the team with an answer for Ground types at all. Emolga doesn't hit hard enough to be a threat on its own and doesn't really have anything besides its own Static to make it a presence in the fight, and while Magneton and Heliolisk can both hit pretty hard, ultimately this team just doesn't have synergy. In his latter Battle Chateau apperances he brings Magneton (and eventually Magnezone) and Heliolisk, and actually ends up losing the coverage option of Grass Knot, leaving a team that is very defeatable by Ground-types. Easily the weakest Gym Leader to date. Skill Rating: 3/5

Clemont is a quiet nerd who gets animated when talking about his science and inventions. He has an admirable humility and a strong desire to learn about the world, and I think that's neat. Coolness Rating: 4/5

Route 14

The Gym completed, it's on to Route 14! This route is a rainy, swampy route that really nails the quiet, wistful aspect of "haunted forest". Huge fan of this route.

Route 14: Pokemon Trainer Calem

I think Calem's team is pretty much set now. This is one of the core weaknesses of the game limiting nearly every rival Trainer to a team of 3: we don't get to see his team evolve alongside him. I thought it was so cool in gen 1 how your rival's team would change based on whether or not you won or lost in those fights, and in a series like Pokemon, a team evolving is a great way to mirror that character's story. It's a solid team, as I've said--no complaints, and he has finally evolved his starter. And his appearance here is pretty perfunctory, but he is finally starting to develop that inferiority complex: "Battling with you is fun, but losing all the time doesn’t really make me look all that good." Sorry, bud.

Route 14: Pokemon Ranger Melina

Melina has an Arbok and a Pyroar, at level 35 and 37 respectively. Arbok has very average stats, while Pyroar is sitting at a spicy base stat total of 507, over 200 of which is just Speed and Special Attack. It hits hard and goes fast. The Arbok is basically not there, but that Pyroar is a mean one. Skill Rating: 4/5

Melina seems like she's been out here for a while, but at least she's having fun. And she gives good advice: "Keep your eyes peeled, and you never know what you'll find!" I always bring my Dowsing Machine for just that reason, Melina. Coolness Rating: 4/5

Route 14: Pokemon Ranger Nash

Nash has a level 38 Goomy. Goomy will eventually evolve into a Pseudo-Legendary, but for the meanwhile it is extremely beatable. Skill Rating: 1/5

Nash also seems like he's been out here for a while, and he seems to be kind of losing it. Buddy needs to stop in at one of Lumiose City's stylish cafes and have a nice chat with someone. Coolness Rating: 2/5

Route 14: Hex Maniac Anina

With a level 34 Litwick and Haunter, Anina has the pre-evolved forms of two of my absolute favorites (both of which would end up on my team in normal circumstances). While Litwick at this point is exactly as fragile as a candle that has almost burned all the way out, Haunter is fast and hits pretty hard. It's got some notable weaknesses, but Haunter can definitely catch the unprepared by surprise. Skill Rating: 3/5

Anina asserts that she has known, since a previous life, that we would battle here today, but somehow seems surprised that she lost. Then, when we talk to her after battle, she says "I just obey... if that is what fate dictates, then I shall obey..." and I just can't help but feel like she may have put a little too much weight on this one battle, y'know? Coolness Rating: 2/5

Route 14: Pokemon Ranger Reed

Reed has a level 35 Poliwhirl, a level 34 Loudred, and a level 36 Fraxure. The Poliwhirl and Loudred aren't much to write home about, but that Fraxure has Dragon Dance and Dragon Claw, and enough stats that it can get a Dragon Dance or two off. It outlevels most of my team and got I think two or three Dragon Dances in while I was trying to deal with it, and I am convinced the only reason it didn't sweep my team is, when I switched in Gabite to deal with it, the NPC AI decided to use False Swipe. Skill Rating: 5/5

Reed is doing your standard Pokemon Ranger routine: talking about being one with nature and how that will deepen your bond with your Pokemon. Which, hey, someone's gotta do it. The other Rangers on this route are getting kinda weird. Coolness Rating: 3/5

Route 14: Fairy Tale Girl Imogen

I don't think I knew Imogen was here? She has a level 33 Floette and a level 35 Slurpuff. This team is pretty unremarkable; Floette is pretty weak, and Slurpuff is exceedingly average, but they aren't awful. Skill Rating: 3/5

Imogen longs to live in a fairy tale, and honestly, I can sympathize. Reality isn't looking so hot these days. She also mentions how she can't wait to read Shauntal's latest novel (Shauntal being an Elite 4 member in Unova). Which is why I am pretty sure I've never encountered this Trainer before--that's a line that I think I would remember. Coolness Rating: 3/5

And there you have it! A long one this time, partly because the Gym didn't take that much time thanks to the text dumps I found, and partly to make up lost time, since Laverre City has both a dungeon and a gym in it and we missed a week. Next week we will be doing . . . hopefully both of those? We'll plan on both. Gotta pick up the pace on this series. But until then, friends, I will see you then. Thanks for reading.

#the very best