the very best, pt. v
We are back once again to The Very Best, our ongoing ranking of how cool and talented Kalos's Pokemon trainers are. I missed last week because the horrors have been getting me down, but I am back, and it can be argued that I am back better than ever. So let's begin, shall we?
A Rocky Detour
We arrive in Ambrette Town, chasing down leads on Mega Evolution at the Fossil Lab; the researchers there say they don't know what a Mega Evolution is, but suggest that maybe fossils will be useful to learn about anyway, so we go to the cave where the head researcher is located, only to find some criminals there! They seem like jerks, and they say they are after fossils for the money. This detour doesn't teach us much about the game's villain team, but it does introduce us to them; time to get the old brain thinking about them and what they might be after.
Route 9: Sky Trainer Orion
Orion is wearing a rubber suit to protect against Electric-type moves, which not only doesn't work for the reason he learns upon his defeat--"it's my Pokemon that are taking the hits!"--it also doesn't work because I don't think, at this stage in the game, there are any Sky Battle-eligible Pokemon that can use Electric-type moves. The fact that he also chooses a Ledian as his partner--a Bug type that is vulnerable to the Flying types he is most likely to encounter in these battles--suggests that Orion maybe has no idea what he is doing, actually. Skill Rating: 1/5 I struggle with giving coolness rating to Sky Trainers because they have 30% less dialog than most people and it's usually just about flying. We know enough to know that Orion isn't much of a thinker, and while I suspect he has his share of fans, I don't think he's being invited to my birthday party this year. Coolness Rating: 2/5
Glittering Cave: Pokemon Trainer Calem
Our second encounter with Calem's team, and he's already got a much stronger setup going on. Espurr comes equipped with Light Screen, which isn't amazingly helpful in this particular fight but is a useful quality on a lead; and notably Espurr will later become Meowstic, a very strong utility lead. Then he has an Absol and his level 20 starter Pokemon; this is a solid team, capable of handling a wide variety of threats.
Nothing particularly remarkable to report on the coolness scale from this encounter; Calem seems to have identified Team Flare as a potential threat but is not yet interested in stopping them as an organization so much as he is interested in beating them right here. Given, again, that we have not yet crushed his dreams, it's only natural that he still seems to think of himself as a leader or mentor to us.
Glittering Cave: Team Flare Grunt 1 (M)
Team Flare Grunts may not have names, but they do talk to us and have teams, and I will document them all the same. As an organization, I will be taking team tactics into account. (Spoiler alert: they mostly fail.)
Our first and most talkative grunt has a Houndour and a Zubat; Houndour is one of the better Pokemon they field; Fairy and Psychic types will end up as reliable go-tos for this villainous team, and it is immune to Psychic and resists Fairy. Zubat is, of course, nothing to write home about and can be trivially dispatched. Still, a solid opening. Skill Rating: 3/5
Under normal circumstances I would probably comment that it's unrealistic to have this Team Flare grunt proudly proclaiming: "Team Flare's goal is to make it so we're the only ones who are happy! We don't care one bit about what happens to other Trainers or Pokemon," I can think of recent examples of some proudly nihilistic young people joining a billionaire's cult of personality and causing harm on purpose because the only thing they care about are the chosen elite who will be spared from the coming calamity, so actually this seems pretty accurate.Coolness Rating: 0/5
Glittering Cave: Team Flare Grunt 2
Grunt 2 comes at us with a Gulpin and an Electrike. The Gulpin is pretty weak, but Electrike is notable as (I think?) the only non-Dark or Poison Pokemon line that Team Flare fields. Fine, but not amazing. Skill Rating: 3/5
Grunt 2 has adopted a childish attitude of "we're gonna do what we want!", and then has the lack of self-awareness to chastise us for not keeping our nose out of adults' business. Which, first of all, you challenged me, I'm just trying to find this science guy. Second of all, c'mon. Look in a mirror. Coolness Rating: 1/5
Team Flare Grunts 3 & 4
This charming pair comes at us with a Scraggy and a Croagunk. Of the two, Scraggy is probably the better option, but they don't really offer much in the way of synergy here; no covering each other's weaknesses or anything interesting like that. Skill Rating: 3/5
Grunt 3 is a cheerleader and Grunt 4 seems to be mostly pretty mercenary. I think now that we've met the two who are here to let us know that they are villains with villainous intentions, the rest of them feel like they can really be themselves around us. Coolness Rating: 2/5
Route 8, Oceanside: Swimmer Genvieve
Genevieve's Wingull and Psyduck team isn't doing anything too amazing, but I do like Wingull here: it's surprisingly fast and packs a respectable, if not amazing, punch; that's a solid opener for the more well-rounded Psyduck to finish the fight. Skill Rating: 3/5
Genevieve is bad at swimming without her Pokemon--which is better than every Pokemon protagonist, who is just incapable of swimming altogether--and blames her loss on this fact. Unfortunately, we're both on land. This makes me suspect she may just be a sore loser. Coolness Rating: 2/5
Route 8, Oceanside: Fisherman Wharton
Wharton comes at us with three Tentacools. This is an extremely uninspired team, but also three Tentacools, with their Toxic Spikes and their very solid Special Defense, can really wall out an unprepared party. Skill Rating: 3/5
Wharton tells us he has been practicing his . . . casting technique? I'm no fisherman, but that sounds like the sort of thing you'd say if you have no idea how to fish. Which I guess makes sense; Tentacool can't be caught with a fishing rod in this game. Coolness Rating: 2/5
Route 8, Oceanside: Sky Trainer Aveza
At first glance, you'd think Aveza's Skiploom's Grass typing would be a pretty big liability here; but Skiploom isn't the main threat; it's that level 22 Swoobat waiting afterwards. Skiploom can probably survive a hit or two, long enough to get a Stun Spore off, leaving your Pokemon vulnerable to Swoobat's flinch-inducing Heart Stamp. That's a solid combo. Skill Rating: 4/5
Aveza seems to be new to the Sky Battle thing, but she's got an adventurer's spirit, and takes her defeat in stride. I like Aveza. I do wish she'd pick a spot to stand that wasn't so hard to find, though. Coolness Rating: 5/5
Route 8, Oceanside: Fisherman Shad
Shellder and Staryu is a fun combo. Shellder as a physical tank, Staryu to finish off with its special attack. It's got some flaws, but I like the concept. Skill Rating: 3/5
Shad feels like he's doing a bit. It feels like the sort of bit I would do, which . . . I'm not deducting points, but he's on thin ice. Coolness Rating: 3/5
Route 8, Oceanside: Swimmer Marissa
Regrettably, Masquerain, as cool as it is, is a bit of a disappointment; I feel like it's inches away from being great, but we're not there, especially not with Marissa's moveset, where Gust and Quick Attack are its strongest moves. Skill Rating: 2/5
Marissa is tired of wearing this particular swimsuit, and has resolved to go buy a new swimsuit after this battle. Her desires and behaviors are alien to me, but I guess it takes all sorts, y'know? Coolness Rating: 3/5
And so we arrive in Cyllage City, ready to buy some new clothes, win a bicycle, and challenge the gym. I think this is also as far as I got in my original notes so now the transcription work is all on me! With luck that won't slow me down much--find out next week, I guess?