the very best, pt. ii

22 Jan, 2025

Welcome back on this fine Monday Tuesday¹ to The Very Best, our new series providing an objective and scientific ranking of both the skills and the coolness of all of the trainers in Pokemon X. Last week we ended our journey at the door of Santalune City Gym; this week, we meet the Professor and formally embark on our journey around Kalos!

The First Gym

In today's installment we encounter the first gym, which is, of course, not a major roadblock (though this is the first time in the series that the fire starter has an edge at the first gym), but it's a significant milestone nonetheless. From the trainers inside, and from the way she has built her team, it's clear that Viola's focus is on helping beginning trainers get their start, rather than on trying to provide a serious challenge.

I view gyms as a gauntlet challenge--you can usually leave any time you want but the intention is clearly to make you burn through your resources; this will affect how I rate the trainers in question.²

Santalune Gym: Youngster David

David's Ledyba isn't particularly impressive, but it does have very strong special defense--Ledyba has a respectable base of 80--which means that if you came in with a fire Pokemon with a special attack, hoping to counter the bug gym, you will, in fact, end up being somewhat walled here. It doesn't hit hard, but it will chip away at your HP, and if you aren't adequately prepared there's a good chance this fight alone benches your fire Pokemon before the challenge has even begun. Skill Rating: 4/5

I also appreciate David's spirit of adventure. He's excited about seeing various Pokemon, and that's why he's here at the gym--he knows what he's about, he's got a goal and a clear motivation. Coolness Rating: 4/5

Santalune Gym: Youngster Zachary

Zachary, on the other hand, has a fairly unremarkable Spewpa. While Spewpa does have access to Stun Spore, which could be something of a drain on our resources, it's also very easy to simply end this fight before it begins--a high Defense doesn't help against either the Flying or Fire types that are likely to be used to help clear this gym. Skill Rating: 2/5

Zachary is pretty one-note. Bug Pokemon evovle quickly; did you know that? He tells us about this twice, and his comment on defeat is related to it. I'd give him points if he were using a fully evolved Bug Pokemon, to showcase this, but he's using one of the cocoon stages, which are pretty generally unimpressive. Personality Rating: 2/5

Santalune Gym: Lass Charlotte

As the final trainer before Viola, Charlotte is pretty underwhelming. She has two Pokemon, but the first one is a level 7 Kakuna--a triviality to anyone, even if it does have access to Poison that would make things difficult--and the second one is a level 9 Combee. Gen 6 Combee is bizarre--it only ever learns four moves, and the third one comes at level 13. So this one has access to Gust and Sweet Scent. That's not enough to win a fight or make up for its weak stats; it might have something going for it if it were at level 13 and had access to Bug Bite, but it doesn't. Skill Rating: 2/5

Charlotte is really getting into the spider web theme of the gym, and I like that about her. She's whimsical and poetic, and she's clearly having a good time. Coolness Rating: 4/5

Santalune Gym: Leader Viola

Viola has a lv. 10 Surskit and a lv. 12 Vivillon. I like Surskit here for the same reason I like David's Ledyba, except moreso: its Water typing covers its weakness to Fire, and Bubble helps counter the Fire types that are probably going to be the more common counters to the Gym. It's got a respectable, though not amazing, Sp. Atk stat; this is a great Pokemon to lead with. The main issue is that it does not have her TM move, Infestation, which would be much more useful on this Pokemon than it is on her Vivillon.

Her Vivillon is interesting in that it does not have access to Struggle Bug, the move that it should have learned upon evolving at level 12. If Vivillon had Struggle Bug and Surskit had Infestation, this would be a much nastier fight--that 90 Sp. Atk and 89 Speed would make a base 60 attack move hit quite hard at this point, and an Infestation-trapped Pokemon would very plausibly go down here. But it doesn't, which suggests she's intentionally holding back to make the fight easier for new challengers.

Viola is the primary reason for my "I am taking teams that show up in the Battle Chateau into consideration" rule; her team there, with Masqueraine and Vivillon, are not artificially limited, and are all told a pretty respectable team given the Bug-type limitation. Skill Rating: 4/5

Many Gym Leaders in the series suffer from the problem of "they have one hobby and that's all they talk about". Viola likes photography, and everything she says is a photography metaphor, and it's sometimes a little forced. But I like Viola. She has an artist's drive to capture those fleeting moments of emotion, in her case on film, and I respect that. Plus she's willing to help out people who are just getting started, and that's respectable. Coolness Rating: 4/5

Lumiose City and Environs

With the Gym battle out of the way, it's on to the big city: Lumiose! There's a power outage there right now, so we can't really explore it much, but we get to visit the Pokemon lab, receive one of the Kanto starters from the Professor, and receive our quest proper: learning about Mega Evolution! I appreciate that the Kalos games in particular have a specific thing the Professor wants our help researching; it incorporates the game's gimmick into the story, and it makes it feel a little less like we are just wandering aimlessly. It's a nice little touch. Our first lead will take us to nearby Camphrier Town, a sleepy town that has sold off most of its valuables to some nearby rich asshole. Great?

Route 4: Gardener Wheaton

All of the Gardeners have the same Corphish, or near enough as doesn't matter, and in this playthrough, they all opened with Mud Sport. And because I was trying to raise up my Spewpa into a Vivillon, I didn't simply lead with Pikachu, and it turns out Mud Sport reduces Electric damage by a lot. Given that there aren't many decent Grass types available at this point, this is actually a pretty solid opening, and these guys can hit like a truck if they want to. Unfortunately, Mud Sport does involve a pretty significant loss of tempo. Skill Rating: 3/5

I don't have much to say about Wheaton. He's your standard cartoon old guy who likes gardening. Coolness Rating: 3/5

Route 4: Roller Skater Roland

Roland's level 10 Pidgey is pretty underwhelming. Sand Attack can make things a little annoying, but by now we have access to more interesting and threatening Pokemon. Skill Rating: 2/5

Roland is extolling the virtues of Lumiose City while skating in its outskirts. Has he been exiled, perhaps? Does he consider Route 4 to be a part of the city proper, in the same way that people from rural eastern Washington consider the entire west coast to be part of the city of Seattle? Roland raises many questions, none of which he intends to. Coolness Rating: 3/5

Route 4: Roller Skater Calida

I think a level 10 Fletchling is marginally better than a level 10 Pidgey, but not by enough for me to change the rating. Skill Rating: 2/5

Calida seems to be at something of a crossroads between her desire to skate and her desire to do Pokemon battles, and her fondness for Fletchling. I can respect someone who is having a hard time finding a balance between her diverse hobbies. Keep at it, Calida. Coolness Rating: 4/5

Route 4: Poke Fan Agnes

Agnes has three level 7 Burmy, each with a different form. They can all be defeated by just spamming tackle whilst you pay attention to something else. Protect spam and a Super Potion make this last a while if you are doing this, but they don't make it difficult. Skill Rating: 1/5

I'm always a little skeptical of the Poke Fans. Like, yeah, man, everyone you meet in these games loves Pokemon, you ain't special. But she seems nice enough, I guess? I wouldn't kick her out if she showed up at a party I was hosting. Coolness Rating: 3/5

Route 4: Preschooler Mia

Okay, so, a level 9 Budew is not a very exciting choice. I'd give her more points for Water Sport if Fire types weren't basically unheard of at this point--you've got the monkeys, and Fennekin if you went that route, and I think that's it--but, honestly, for a Preschooler's team, I have seen a lot worse. Skill Rating: 3/5

I think I'm giving Mia a slightly higher rating than might be strictly merited in skill because she seems like she is a preschooler who is going places. She's very confident she'll win, and though that confidence is unearned, she does know that she has to go train more. I have every confidence Mia will one day grow into a Rising Star and be the terror of Route 4, or wherever she ends up. Coolness Rating: 5/5

Route 4: Preschooler Adrian

Level 9 Magikarp; knows Splash. You can only lose this fight by intentionally throwing, and even then I think you'd struggle. Skill Rating: 0/5

Adrian just traded for this Magikarp, so he probably got scammed; he also blames this trade for his loss, which isn't very graceful. At least he's having fun, I guess. Coolness Rating: 2/5

Route 4: Poke Fan Gabe

Level 7 Pichu into Level 9 Pikachu isn't really what I'd consider a strategy so much as it is "look at my cool Pokemon!" It does sort of work, in that between Static and Thunder Shock you might get a paralysis off from Pichu before Pikachu comes in to fight for reals, but I'm not going to be writing any strategic theses on this one, y'know? Skill Rating: 3/5

Poke Fan Gabe believes in the redemptive power of love. Who am I to argue? Coolness Rating: 3/5

Route 4: Gardener Grover

Grover has the same team as Wheaton, so he gets the same rating. Skill Rating: 3/5

I like Grover. He's proud of his work on the gardens and he has a tour guide's flair for getting other people interested. A lesser guide would simply tell us the official name, but he makes it a challenge: beat me, and I'll tell you! This makes us feel invested, and makes it all the more memorable when we secure the win. Coolness Rating: 4/5

Route 5: Gardener Fabian

I wonder if the Corphish are standard issue? Presumably these are public gardens, so perhaps Lumiose City provides a Corphish to its gardeners? Skill Rating: 3/5

Fabian is trying to be grandiose about his battle prowess, but, like. You're the same as the other two gardeners, man. I'm sorry, but you haven't honed or perfected anything, gloriously or otherwise. Coolness Rating: 2/5

Lumiose City: Professor Sycamore

This is our first battle with Professor Sycamore--there's another one later (maybe more than one? I dunno, it's been a while), so no ratings here yet. He uses all three of the Kanto starters. They all have their elemental moves, so unlike that one Schoolkid earlier who was trying this with the elemental monkeys, it actually works, and as we've established, starter Pokemon are generally slightly better, on average, than the Pokemon you can find around the starting areas. It's a solid team, if a little textbook.

I like the Professor. He was originally only going to send one kid per town out on a journey, but he found out your mom is moving to Vaniville Town and he thinks she's hot, so he sent you one, too. Calem is kind of mad that he didn't get to battle the professor. Sorry, Calem. Maybe try having a hot mom next time?

Route 5: Twins Faith & Joy

By rights I should probably be rating double battles separately, but, eh. They function as a unit. And honestly, Faith & Joy are done kind of dirty by the XY learnsets of their Lv. 11 Plusle and Minun. This combo should actually work pretty well at this stage; they have good Sp. Atk stats and their Abilities boost those stats further; but they don't have access to any Special attacks until, like, level 29. Good idea, kids. Rematch me when you've hit level 30 or so? Skill Rating: 2/5

They seem fine, for kids. Coolness Rating: 3/5

Route 5: Rising Star Hamish

Hamish's level 13 Kadabra was the first Pokemon I have encountered so far that KO'd one of my Pokemon. It has a 120 base Sp. Atk, its Confusion has 50 base Power, and the usual Kadabra drawback of having paper-thin physical defenses doesn't really matter at this point in the game when most Pokemon are still pretty weak. Skill Rating: 5/5

Hamish is having a hard time sleeping. I can relate to that. I'm also terrified to see what he's like at the top of his game, if this is him at his weakest, you know? As an interesting aside, he mentions the Vital Spirit ability and how it doesn't let you sleep, and I think that would be much more interesting if he used a Pokemon with that Ability. But he is just dropping a useful insomnia-related fact for your enjoyment, you can't fault a man for that. Coolness Rating: 4/5

Route 5: Roller Skater Winnie

Bunnelby into Skiddo doesn't really seem like there's much strategy going on here; this is just some Pokemon she picked up while she was out skating. Which is fine, but it's not going to get you top marks in the prestigious blog series The Very Best. Skill Rating: 3/5

Winnie is working on some cool tricks but seems to have hit a bit of... skater's block? Is that a thing? I sure hope she figures something out. Maybe our battle helped. Coolness Rating: 3/5

Route 5: Roller Skater Florin

Florian's level 12 Doduo is a solid, if uninspired, choice for a Pokemon. Skill Rating: 3/5

Florian greets us by informing us that "The rules of a Pokemon battle are simple, you see. Rule one: battle. Rule two: win!" And then after we beat him he says "You followed the rules perfectly!" This is the ideal joke. Good work, Florian. Coolness Rating: 4/5

Route 5: Rising Star Tyson

For a Rising Star, Tyson's team is pretty bad. While the advanced theory of Pokemon battling is actually fairly complex³, it is safe to say that as a general rule it is probably not usually a good idea to save the worst for last. His Bidoof doesn't have anything going for it, and while his Oddish's Grass/Poison typing will be solid later on, right now it doesn't really counter anything you're likely to encounter. Skill Rating: 2/5

That said, I love Tyson's attitude. Pokemon let him see the world and meet new people, and do Pokemon battles and trades! An adventurer's spirit. Keep at it, Tyson. Maybe consider building a better team. Coolness Rating: 5/5

Route 5: Backpacker Heike

Am I alone in feeling like Sentret looks like it should be the evolved form of Furret, and not the other way around? Anyway, it's pretty easily dealt with at this stage of the game. Skill Rating: 2/5

I'm curious about Heike's assertion that he can tell that the player character is a seasoned traveler. We've been like five routes by now; perhaps he can tell that we originally journeyed here from another region? Perhaps he knows that I've been playing these games since the 90s? Coolness Rating: 3/5

Route 5: Youngster Keita

Keita has a level 12 Pansage, and that's not really doing him any favors. I don't think any of the wild Pokemon we've encountered, bar the water monkey, are countered by Grass, but it is countered by fairly common Flying-types. I'll give him some points for at least having a solid stat spread, I suppose. Skill Rating: 3/5

Keita likes to wear shorts when he is walking through the tall grass, because they are comfy and easy to wear. Unfortunately, he's walking through purple flowers, rather than the grass. Do better, Keita. Coolness Rating: 1/5

Pokemon Trainer Tierno

This won't be our last Tierno encounter, so no rating yet. But for this encounter, Vice Grip and Swords Dance on a lv. 12 Corphish is honestly a pretty solid combo; one or two Swords Dances and I wouldn't be surprised if he's doing an OHKO on most opponents. Of course, it's fairly easy to counter, but honestly, solid choice of moves from our pal.

Tierno is, regrettably, a bit one-note. We have four rivals, and everyone else sort of represents an archetype of how people play the game; Calem is the serious battler, Trevor is the Pokedex collector, Shauna is the person who's just here for vibes. Tierno likes dancing. He feels surplus to requirements most of the time and sort of struggles to find an identity outside of the world of dance.

#the very best